♥ HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARA! ♥
by Becky Keller ♥ March 19, 2021
Seeing Sara for the first time is permanently imprinted in my mind. That tiny, beautiful bundle of light shone so brightly in that room full of babies. Her crib was right by the door of that small building behind the Adoption Agency office. I ONLY noticed her. She seemed so small lying in that crib sleeping all alone, wrapped tightly in those clean, plain blankets. The Adoption Agency caseworker told me she had thrush – but if I took her to a doctor for medication, she should be okay. They told me she was born near Pusan in the south part of South Korea, was relinquished right after she was born and another caseworker transported her up to Seoul to their Baby Nursery. That’s where I saw my second daughter for the first time.
Ten months ago, that light changed in form. She left her physical body on this earthly planet to continue her next journey to whatever adventures await after we are done with our current life and physical body.
It’s tough at times though. The grief from a child leaving your side is the hardest thing ever. Life tries to prepare you, but the moments still come. They go off to Kindergarten. They start that BIG high school. They go to a totally different city for college! They become a grown-up – independent and suddenly fully capable of taking care of their self and their own growing family. Those are normal parts of “growing up” and for the most part, usually times of celebration as well. But when they transition from their physical body – another natural progression in this thing we call life…it’s the hardest, because we are never really prepared.
I am grateful I had those 34 years – so on this day I celebrate. I celebrate that she was in this life for 34 years and two months. It went by too quickly and was definitely too short of a time but I celebrate what I was given.
I celebrate these two photos – the baby photo I had taken for her immigration visa application, soon after I brought her home from the Adoption Agency – and the silly photo she took of her and Payton last year on her birthday. They are like a timeline with so much, but not enough – space in-between where you are left wanting to know about and remember the times that took her from one photo to the next.
Sara had many, many adventures between those two photos. She embraced life just like she embraced and fought during her cancer journey. She kept going. She did not quit. She stayed in the game. The day before Sara moved on, she and I talked about whether or not she wanted to continue. She told me she did. I held her hand, held back my tears and my fears, looked into her determined eyes and told her I loved her so very, very much.
‘Cause you see, as Sara’s Mom, I was always amazed watching her live her life – just as I am still amazed watching my other two daughters live their lives – through and after Sara’s cancer journey. After Sara was diagnosed with breast cancer she made a point to make the most of her life every day. She was grateful for every one of her days. She was so positive, so outgoing, so full of life. She would go to her appointments, get her chemo, go to her radiation, go back to work then home to take care of her daughter, Payton. She did everything she could to keep her life normal and full and be there for Payton, who was only five months old when cancer joined their family.
How Sara lived the last five years of her life – her life with cancer – is an example for all. She lived her life concentrating on the “life” part – not the possibility of “leaving it” part. She lived in gratitude for what she had, where she was and for the many people around her. She saw opportunities and explored them. She smiled, had fun, and enjoyed laughing at the funny things she saw happen plus the funny things she made happen. She had a sense of humor. 
Yes – she got discouraged, was sad and even scared at times. But she refused to stay in that place very long. She kept going. She said that’s what “we” do. Her strength and courage were incredible. I watched and learned.
