“FACEBOOK FRIENDS”
Rosa sat, ♥ so Ruby could walk, ♥ so Kamala could run
by Becky Keller ♥ November 8, 2020
I was reminded of how difficult Joe and Kamala will have it when I read three rude (if not vile) facebook posts on the two celebratory “2020 Election related” posts I made yesterday on my facebook and Instagram accounts. These posts were made by a longtime friend with whom I grew up in middle America. I went to church with this “boy” and his family. We now live on opposite coasts of this wide and diverse country of ours. I haven’t seen or talked with him in person for many years. I usually enjoy keeping up with many of my hometown friends through facebook.
Regarding the friend who posted…we are both white – we both went to the same school – we both went to the same church potlucks and school events. How did we turn out with such different views of the world? I don’t know what he has gone through since high school. I’m not even sure of what he went through when we were in school together all those years. He seemed okay. I don’t remember him getting into a lot of “trouble” as we were growing up. So what was different? How did he become that person that posts such ugly unsolicited words about the political figures that just made history? What prompted him to want to write those words? No one asked him a question or directed any remarks to him personally but yet, he had a strong enough opinion about the newly elected President and Vice-President to refer to them in a derogatory manner and accuse them of improprieties. I could have replied to him but I chose not to engage. As much as I welcome anyone’s respectful disagreement with my own opinion, a drawn out discussion on facebook seemed a bit too time consuming for my life at the moment. Rather than start what would have surely been a back and forth comment period of him furthering his use of unrepeatable adjectives directed towards the President/Vice-President elects – I chose to just delete his comments. I could have deleted this person as a “friend” on my facebook and forgotten about it. But for some reason I didn’t. Instead I deleted his three posts but left him as my friend.
I continued to think about his comments. For me – this is just one friend. Joe and Kamala have an entire nation of people who have similar thoughts – to somehow bring together on common ground. That is a daunting task. I think it is important to maintain relationships with those who have different opinions – whether that is political or otherwise. I try to think mindfully, prior to deleting someone from my life (so to speak) by deleting them from my facebook. As having “friends” who only think like me COULD get very boring! That is not to say that if someone goes too far in their comments, suggestions or recommendations – especially as it relates to actions directed at other people or what they themselves really want to do, if given the chance, to other people…I would delete them. There is a line that is crossable and one, that when crossed….means someone has gone too far. Everyone must figure out where that line is for themselves. Kinda like when you are deciding to break up with someone or get a divorce. Sometimes…it just gets too much and it’s okay to say – Nope – that’s it – I’m done with you. Deleting a “friend” from facebook is like getting a divorce I guess in that scenario. And…I HAVE deleted friends. I have even deleted some family from my facebook friends when their posts became too frequent and too abusive towards others or too intolerant or exclusive of the diversity of others. I can still find some love in me to save for them, but it doesn’t mean I need to subject myself to their rants.
Healing the divide and restoring the dignity and character within our country will be a large part of Joe and Kamala’s job. That is also my job. I can choose not to respond in the same negative manner in which I am approached. I can choose to respond in kindness and love. I can direct my energy in a positive direction in order to encourage others when they may be feeling down or without hope I can maintain my facebook and other social media accounts as platforms for inspiration, connections and avenues for developing ideas and thoughts in a positive direction. As much as I understand that people need a vehicle to express and to deal with their anger and long pent up feelings of unworthiness or feelings of being treated unfairly, my social media accounts are for healing those feelings – not furthering them. I respect the authenticity of what is being expressed by those who feel disenfranchised and angry. If you really want to feel better – I recommend you find a good therapist.
Words are powerful. Everyone’s words have the potential to be negative or positive – hurtful or helpful – unproductive or useful – even when we are unaware of how or for whom that happens. Each one of us is really serving anyone who takes the time to read what we write. We all have a choice. I try to choose my words wisely; to make them count. I will continue to maintain my “friend” list full of people with whom I know I disagree on some level on some topics. Perhaps one day, we will meet again in person and have the chance to talk. For now, leaving people as facebook friends, however, allows them to continue to see MY posts – which I hope are ones of encouragement, inspiration, hope and inclusion. Time will tell. I choose HOPE. It will take time to heal our great nation. The time for me to help is now. I BELIEVE that many people can find the time to help now – those with whom I agree – and those with whom I may have differences. For today – I wish you HAPPINESS, LOVE and PEACE. 
